I have seen a lot of this on many sites and all across the internet...and It really bothers me when I see military wives look down on military girlfriends and fiances.
Honestly at one point or another we were all a girlfriend or fiance and then became a wife. It's hard on all of us being away from the one we love. As a wife you should be there for the military girlfriends and fiances and encourage them to stay strong so much bitchiness among the milso's and other military communities is uncalled for and makes no sense to me.
I think a lot of wives have a hard time remembering that they where ”just a girlfriend” or "fiance" once too.
This is why I stay away from the bitchtastic drama driven military wives. We’re married now, but I was just as important to him then as I am today!... and all the military girlfriends and fiances are just as important NOW to their soldiers as they will be once a military wife.
So let's remember to pull together and support our future military wives!
I have been having some problems ever since my boyfriend left home on this deployment. In looking for some support, and someone to talk to, I went to a woman who has something in common with me; her husband has been over in Iraq. What I was not expecting was her reaction to my asking her for help. She told me that, because I don't have a ring on my finger, my situation had no comparison to hers, since I wasn't a military wife that I wasn't worth anything. That I couldn't possibly know anything about how it feels or what it's like when he is away. In other words...Military girlfriend's don't know anything....
I just want to set the record strait for anyone out there who agrees with her, while I may not be a wife to my soldier, I have been as good as one for almost 3 years. I may not know much, but this is what I do know:
I know what it is like to hold him and kiss him for the last time before he boards a plane that will take him away from me for almost 11 months. I've gone for weeks without hearing his voice over the phone. I've sat silently on the phone with him while he was tortured over the fact that he shot and killed a young boy with a home-made bomb strapped to his stomach earlier that day. I have rocked him to sleep on the floor because the bed was too uncomfortable for him to sleep on and he wasn't used to it. Experienced waking up to him screaming and couldn't even BEGIN to imagine what he saw in his dreams. I've watched him scarf his food down in two minutes flat because that is the amount of time he was used to allotting himself for a meal. I've stood in a crowd and watched him receive promotions and all for putting himself in danger to save others, appearing to be happy and proud, gracefully, while my insides were screaming out in anguish, complete agony, and trying my best to hide how truly pissed off I was that he would even consider, just for a second, about putting another's life ahead of his own with the possibility that he may not have come home. And I have watched him adjust to being home, excuse his way out of talking about his experiences in Afghanistan, and jump out of his skin whenever he hears a train go by or a car alarm, watched him eye every kid with a backpack and piles of trash on the side of the road.
I may not be a military wife and I may not know much about being one -- technically, but I know everything I have mentioned above because I have seen it and felt it for myself. I know my soldier, inside and out... and backwards. I know him better than he knows himself. And, no matter where he is, what he is going through, what he is doing and whatever he is thinking about at the time... when I am with him, I am home. And I would do anything, within or completely out of my reach to keep him safe and with me at all times. To me, that is what a military wife really is, it has nothing to do with a marriage license or a ring.